Thursday, May 6, 2010

Praying in Faith?

I have a hard time praying in faith. To be honest, I'm not totally sure what that means. I've heard that praying in faith means believing and saying that God is going to give you what you pray for, and that you simply don't have enough faith if you don't get it. I've heard that we must pray with the faith that God's will is going to be done, regardless of the answer.

I've prayed for situations where I was certain God was going to answer in a certain way, and he didn't. In some, the answer was a clear "No." One of those times, I visualized a certain thing as a mountain and told it to move, fully expecting my desire to happen. When the "mountain" remained in its place, my faith was damaged. It was months before I could pray at all, and was an even longer time before I prayed for any of my concerns. I could pray for others, but I felt like God just was not going to answer my prayers for myself. If I had stopped to think about it, I probably would have said I was drifting close to fatalism. Over time, I came to the point where I could pray for myself. Maybe I didn't (don't) have enough faith. Maybe I was asking with a wrong motive. Maybe my faith was misplaced. (that's certainly been the case before)

All this musing has come about because there is a a particular thing that I really want God to do. There is a job that I've heard will come open. It actually would be more than just a job for me. It is something that will fit my passion, skills, and experience. It will allow me the opportunity to once again be involved in discipleship through athletics. Through a number of things that have transpired over the last two years, the timing seems right. It seems like the perfect situation. So, I am praying that God will be gracious and grant me this job.

The question remains. How do I pray in faith? How do I balance my deep desire and a trust that my Father will do what is best? Right now my prevailing attitude is, "Lord I believe. Help my unbelief." Maybe that's enough.

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Weekend Wanderings

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