Goodbye and Hello

2017 has passed into history. There have been a few years in recent memory to which I bid "Good riddance." This past year is not one of those. 2017 was a good year for me and my family. Jan and I became grandparents. Twice. I started a new job, which I love. There were some hiccups. It was not a perfect year, but overall it was peaceful, without the drama of some recent years.

As I look back on the past year, I am thankful for the good things that God has blessed us with. Grandchildren and the new job are right up there at the top of the list, along with a deepening of our relationship as husband and wife. Our relationships with our friends has also grown stronger, and we are grateful for them. This year has been more active than most, but we have been blessed with the energy we needed. I have no idea what 2018 holds. I hope that it is as good as 2017, but I realize that it may not be.

I don't know if your past year was good or bad. I don't know if you are looking forward to this new year or not. I do know how it feels to be glad one year is gone and also dread the coming year. While I can't totally understand what everyone goes through, I can empathize. I can also hope and pray with you that 2018 is a good year for you.

Let me encourage you to trust God this coming year. There may be times when you can't even begin to figure out what he is doing, or if he is even working at all. Those times when you can't see his hand at work, trust his heart. Trust that the Father's love for you is so strong that he will never let anything come into your life that he does not use for your good. The last part of Romans 8 is true. There is absolutely nothing on earth or in heaven that can separate you from Abba's love.

Don't live this year worrying about the state of your finances, your health, your relationships. Don't be worried about the future of the country's politics, or world affairs. The Creator of all things, who is your Father, is in complete control. Since even the fall of a tiny bird doesn't escape God's attention, trust that he has your situation firmly in hand. As Julian of Norwich said, "...all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."

May your 2018 be full of the love of Abba! 

Another Year? Already?

Every year about this time, we do the same thing. We say goodbye to one year and hello to another. It seems like 2015 just zipped right on by. As I get older, the days seem to pass much more quickly. I have read that it has something to do with the fact that a particular period of time is a smaller percentage of the whole life span of an older person. Makes sense to me.

I've never been one to make a resolutions at the beginning of a year. I don't seem to be able to keep them, so I just don't make them. That way, I'm not disappointed. I'm beginning to realize that there are fewer years left in my life than there used to be. Unless medical science comes up with some miracles, I'm more than halfway through. So, at the beginning of a new year I look back at the past year and look ahead to the one ahead.

My focus has changed from career and financial goals. There is only so much you can do when you're semi-retired and not earning a boatload of money. Those things are not all that important in the long run anyway. The things that are becoming more and more important are my walk with Jesus, my wife and family, and my friends.

Have I become a little more like Jesus in the past year? Have I loved Jan as Christ loved his church? Have I made her feel treasured? Have I been a good father and friend to my adult children and their spouses? Have I loved my friends and been willing to lay down my life for them? Have they been helped in their spiritual journey by what they have seen in me?

These are the things I think about. This is how I want to be in the year ahead. I know that, as with resolutions, there will be successes and miserable failures. I hope the important people in my life will be patient and forgiving.

Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

If there is one word that best sums up the past year here in the sunny South, it would be the word interesting. There have been a lot of changes and adjustments through the year, especially in the second half. I started 2014 by choosing grace as my word for the year, and there have been multiple moments when I have had to lean on God's grace.

The first five months of the year were relatively normal. Then, things got weird. June 5 was my last day at the middle school where I have been working the past eight and a half years. I didn't actually go in to work that day though, because my father-in-law fell and broke his hip that morning. That was the beginning of the adjustments. I was without work and my father-in-law was taking a different road in his journey. As it has turned out, being out of work has allowed me the time to help him out and to take care of his financial affairs as well as helping him with doctor visits and life in an assisted living facility.

We made it through the summer, and in the middle of September we flew out to California for our daughter, Jennie's, wedding. We had a wonderful time with her and with our new in-laws. I also had the honor of being the officiant at the wedding! That was an amazing thing, and I only choked up three times! We came back home, and within a few weeks our son told us that he and his wife were moving from Charlotte to Seattle so he could work with his cousin who has his own architectural design business. The idea of both of our children being on the opposite side of the country has taken some getting used to, but we know that it's a great opportunity and we are happy for them.

We were able to get together with both of our children at the beginning of December, when we celebrated Christmas and a couple of birthdays. On the 19th, Josh and Alicia set out with all their worldly possessions in a Honda Fit. They drove across the country and arrived in Seattle two days before Christmas. Jan and I celebrated Christmas with her father, and then with some close friends. So Christmas was a bit different, but it was good.

Last night we said goodbye to one year and hello to another. While there are things I could wish had happened differently, I am grateful for God's hand in everything. As we enter into this new year, I still don't have a job, and I'm not totally sure how to proceed. The path is shrouded in fog, and we really don't have a clue what will happen in the future. What we do know is that our Father loves us, and that his heart is good toward us. He knows what is to come, and how we are going to best represent his kingdom.

My word for this year is trust. My prayer is, "Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!"

And Another Year Passes

Another year is upon us. It seems to happen on a regular basis, no matter what we try to do. Along with a new year, there comes something called New Year's Resolutions. This is when people determine that they are going to do certain things and accomplish certain goals in the next 365 days. That is why you see special deals on weight loss programs, fitness center memberships, and home fitness equipment. Other resolutions include career, financial, relational, or spiritual goals.

I have nothing against resolutions as such. It is good to have goals for the coming year. My problem is I tend to make resolutions and then not keep them. It seems that is a problem common to the human condition. It is very easy for us to see resolutions as devices to make us better people, much like the 5 steps to ________________ that you can hear in many churches on Sunday mornings. If we fail to keep these resolutions, we can become filled with guilt and frustration. If we are able to keep them, we can become self-righteous.

Pam Hogeweide has written a good article on what she wants for the coming year. It is titled, "Soaring into Everday Loveliness With One Word." Pam writes that, rather than making resolutions, she has chosen the word "soar" as what she wants to do in 2014. She also asks her readers to comment with what their one word would be. I chose "grace."

In the last couple of years, I have been learning what grace is. The idea that Abba loves me no matter what and sees me as his beloved son is liberating. As I learn, it is becoming more and more clear that absolutely nothing I can do will ever change the Father's love for me or my standing as his child. I'm not saying that nothing I do matters, because it does. I'm saying that my actions can not make me a better person inside, that they can not make me righteous. I am righteous because of God's grace through what Christ has done. It is finished, and there is nothing more for me to do.

I want to live every day in and from my Father's grace to me. I want to do everything out of love and gratitude, not out of a desire to earn God's favor or stay right with him. I want to walk looking at Jesus and his finished work, and not fearfully looking over my shoulder or around me, worried that I might screw up. Because I will screw up, sometimes royally. But, it's okay because it doesn't change who I am in Christ. It also doesn't change the settled fact that God is redeeming everything in my life for his kingdom and his glory. I want to live out of that reality.

I also want to live a life that extends that same grace to others, to those whom I love and to those who are difficult to love. I want to love my neighbor (who just happens to be everyone) as Jesus loves me. I want to love others without putting conditions on them. No reciprocity, no demanding, and certainly no "exacting a pound of flesh." I know I can only do that as I am able to rest in the grace of Abba. Otherwise it becomes just another one of those resolutions that I can't keep.

My word for 2014 is grace. I'd love to hear what word you would choose.

Reflections on a Year

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. This quote from A Tale of Two Cities doesn't exactly describe this past year, but the highs were high and the lows were low. There have been things that I hope I never have to go through again and things that I hope continue on and on.

The first three months of 2012 brought us the end of a small fellowship of believers we had been leading and the end of what we thought was a close friendship. Those months were especially hard on me. If you want to  get an idea of where I was during that time you can go back and read some of the posts from January to April. It was a dark time that I hope to never experience again.

In April, we began meeting with a group of believers on Sunday nights as part of a church plant. God showed his sense of humor by leading a guy who had no desire to go back to the institutional church to a church that is part of a denomination. As we quickly found out, this group is different. They met on Sunday nights for a meal, and then had a worship service, ending with communion. There were also groups that met during the week for a meal, a Bible study, or just hanging out together. We were welcomed and accepted from the beginning. The biggest draw for me was the mission of the church to benefit our city and to help each other learn to follow Jesus.

The defining moment came pretty quickly. You can read about it here. We had been looking for community, and had tried to create it. Those attempts had been a miserable failure. Now the Father had led us into a community of faith that already existed, and that was truly centered in Jesus Christ and the truth of the Gospel. As the months have gone by, we have grown to love these brothers and sisters and God has given us opportunities to minister to them, and be ministered to.

In May, our son Josh got married. His wife is a beautiful young woman, and is a blessing to us. We have grown to love her as one of the family. Josh was able to land a job at a local architecture firm, and we are rejoicing at God's blessing. As the year continued, there were a couple of dips in the road, but for the most part the journey has been pretty good. God has continued to teach us and bless us, and draw us closer to himself.

When this year began, I had an inkling that God was about to do something in my life. Little did I know what that would mean. I definitely would have done things differently had I been in charge, but then we wouldn't be where we are now. I have been learning that though the Father's mercy may look like something far different, I can trust his goodness and love. I am learning to trust my Abba's love, leaving things in his hands.

It's been an interesting year. There have been some tough times and there have been some good times. The good has definitely outweighed the bad. We are in a good place, and I'm looking forward to how the Father is going to work in me in 2013. To quote another piece of literature:

"The road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

and I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And wither then? I cannot say."

Out With the Old...

In two more days we will say goodbye to 2011. As this year winds down, many will be making resolutions to break old habits and patterns. Others will be cleaning out closets and getting rid of old clothes. The end of one year and the beginning of the next seems to be a good time to rid ourselves of some things that are old and adopt new habits, clothes, etc.

As I look at Scripture and ponder the state of the church today, I think it is time for those of us who call ourselves Christians, followers of Christ, whatever, to jettison the old and embrace the new. When I look at the organized church, I see an institution that is still bound in an Old Covenant way of thinking and doing things. Walk into almost any church building on a Sunday morning and you will see one person standing in front of the congregation and lecturing the people. That person is part of a particular class of trained professionals who are entrusted with the task of representing God to the people and teaching them. Think Old Testament priests. Those people have traveled to a particular building (temple) on a particular day (Sabbath) to hear from God through the preacher's words. Many believe that the only way to gather in a way that glorifies God is on Sunday in a building that is set aside for that purpose. In many of those buildings the people can come to an altar in the front to sacrifice. Part of the gathering is the when the congregation gives their tithes to pay for the "work of God." Most of the rationale behind the current system of tithing is based on Old Covenant passages that deal with the upkeep of the Temple and the priestly class.

The church has been trapped in Old Covenant ways for so long that what is done goes unquestioned by many. I believe the folks in congregations are good people who love Jesus and are sincere in their faith. I also believe the abundant life that Jesus said he has for us is far greater than what can be found in Old Covenant living. Jesus abolished the Old Covenant system. He established a New Covenant based on grace, a way of life where God is present within each of his children, and where those children can gather anywhere, anytime. In the New Covenant, all are given the responsibility and privilege of ministering to each other, of discipling each other, and teaching each other. In the New Covenant, Jesus' followers live in a spirit of generosity, giving to the needs of others without being badgered or guilted into giving to support programs, buildings, or salaries. In the New Covenant, Jesus is the priority and learning him is the focus. In the New Covenant, forms and structures don't really matter as long as the King is lifted up and we learn to follow him.

Personally, I plan on living my life as an individual under the New Covenant. I will search through the closets of my thinking and acting and bring out those Old Covenant things that need to go. I wonder if Goodwill will take them.

Reflections on the New Year

I haven't blogged in almost two weeks. Due to traveling and other Christmas activities, my time on the computer was not as regular as it usually is. I just got caught up in my blog reading yesterday. I have had some time to reflect on the year that has past, and also to look ahead to the new one.

I've heard it said that the only constant in life is change. That has certainly been true in the past year. My job responsibilities changed, and I'm now working on a more individual basis with a few students. I enjoy it more than what I was doing, and I feel like I'm actually helping them. Jan left her job at the assisted living facility, and is teaching part time and cooking for a retreat center part time. Our church has not grown this year, in fact it has actually shrunk. That's a good thing though. We made the decision to try and be open to each other and learn to live life with each other. It's been an interesting experience, and I think we've grown closer as a community and have experienced a measure of healing and freedom. It will be interesting to see what the Father will do in us in 2011. God has been teaching me how to go through my day-to-day being aware of his presence, and focus on listening and doing what he tells me to do. I am learning, although there are times when what I think is the voice of God is just my addled brain talking.

I'm looking forward to this year. I'm sure it will bring changes, some positive, some not so much. I don't make resolutions, mainly because I never keep them. :) I do have certain things I want to see happen. You can call them goals if you want. I want to live in awareness of God's presence more each day and hear his voice. I want the courage to take risks when the Spirit directs me. I want to love God and others with abandon, not worrying about what people may think. I want to be a blessing to my faith community, and to others that I come in contact with. I want to be a better husband, loving Jan more as Christ loved the Church. I want to be a better father to my adult children, letting them see Jesus.

I know the road ahead will take some turns. There will be some bumps, and there will be times when I will mess up. The one thing I know for certain is that my relationship with my Father doesn't hinge on how many resolutions I make and keep, on how well I perform certain spiritual duties, or on anything that I do. Abba loves me, and there is nothing I can do that will change that in any way. I can be the prodigal, the elder brother, or something in between, and God still loves me with a reckless, graceful love. That is why I look forward to the year ahead.

You may make resolutions at the start of a new year, or you may not. You may set goals, and plan how to reach those goals. That's fine. Just remember that some goals will be met, but others will not be realized. Some resolutions will be shelved until next year. Remember also, that your Father loves you and will continue to love you the same no matter whether you keep all your resolutions or not. You are free, free to make resolutions and then break them, free to set goals and then not meet them.

Jesus came to give us a full, abundant life. So, live. Be free. Abba loves you.

Another Year Passes

Tonight we say goodbye to 2008. I'm not sure if seeing the year pass into history saddens me or if it makes me glad. It has been a year with few major changes, positive or negative.

At the beginning of 2008, I believed that God was calling me to help with the planting of a new church. That has not come to pass. A number of circumstances came up which put that on hold indefinitely. God has also kept me in the current church, even though it is dying or dead. For some odd reason, there still seems to be a ministry for me there. I have no idea what 2009 will bring.

My duties as an educational assistant have changed. Instead of working in a single self-contained class, I now travel to a number of classes within the building. It makes the day go a bit faster and I get to work with a variety of students. I'm still coaching basketball, but this year it seems there is more teaching needed as far as skills go.

Our daughter, Jennie, has flown the coop and made her way to the left coast, where she is trying to leave her mark on the film industry. I'm looking forward to seeing how God works in and through her. Josh, our son, is halfway through his architecture studies, and is still enjoying it.

My beautiful wife, Jan, continues to minister in a Christian school, although this year her duties have increased. We are grateful that her parents are in town so we can see them and help them as they need it.

God continues to teach me, and strip ideas and beliefs from me that I don't need. I'm finding that I am being increasingly, as imonk so succinctly put it, "reduced to Jesus." I'm seeking to follow more closely the Rabbi presented in the Gospels, rather than than the one created by modern Christendom. I'm finding that the pursuit is a lifetime thing rather than a one-time "turning everything over to God". Actually, spending a lifetime trying to follow Jesus so closely that I am covered in the dust from his feet is not a bad way to live. There are days when I sense his presence right there with me, and there are days when I wonder where he is.

As I enter 2009 I journey down a back road that is shaded by trees that have grown over the road and made the path very dark. It's not scary. It's more like an adventure, like exploring a path that you know leads somewhere. The question is where? I don't have an answer. Only God does, and he hasn't chosen to let me know. So, I journey on, step by step, walking by faith and not by sight.

Maybe in 2009, the branches will part and a bit more of the path will be revealed.

Happy New Year everyone! May you have a blessed year.