Father

All of us have fathers. My father was a good man. Not perfect, but good. There never was a time when I didn't know he loved me. He was a good provider and role model. I learned a great deal from him, although not as much as I could, or should, have. He was the kind of father that makes me proud to be his son.

Many folks don't have a father like that. It is heartbreaking to hear those who had fathers who were absent. Some of their fathers died while they were young, others were absent because of work or simply lack of interest. More heartbreaking are the stories of the fathers who were abusive, who treated their children in ways that no one should be treated.

Our picture of God is often colored by our experience with our earthly fathers. Some of us see God as Abba, as the loving Father who cares perfectly for his children. To us, he is Papa, Daddy. Others unfortunately, have a hard time seeing God as their Father. Their image of God is that of a King who is hard, who is demanding, who is always asking more and more of us. That saddens me, because I believe the picture we have of God has a great deal to do with how free we are able to live as his children.

I once heard someone say something which I  believe will help those who struggle with the idea of God as Father. If you have trouble with that, try to imagine the perfect father, with all of the best attributes and no bad qualities. Imagine a father who always makes good and loving decisions, and who always does what is best for his children. Then, take that image and magnify it beyond comprehension. Do that and you have God.

Even the best of earthly fathers are imperfect. My father had his flaws, and I definitely have mine. But our heavenly Father, our Abba, has no flaws. He is absolutely perfect. He is everything anyone would want in a father, and more. We can't begin to imagine such a perfect father. But we can accept that he is and trust him to be exactly what we need.

Cry out to Abba. Let his furious love wash over you and let him wrap you in his arms. Crawl up in his lap and rest in his perfect care.

Some Things I Don't Understand

A young teenage girl died this week. She left behind family and friends who loved her dearly. I know all the things that are true. She lived far longer than expected. She is no longer in pain. God is good and kind and he is in control. I know all that and I believe all that. Still, there are some things I don't understand.

Last night some of us sat with two friends of the young lady. Most of that time was spent in silence. We grieved with them. At this time, it's the only thing we could do. I spent some time wondering about the brokenness of this world and the pain that we humans have to endure. Jan and I have lost both of our parents in the last few years. That kind of thing is more normal. Children are "supposed" to outlive their parents.

This is different. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. Teenagers are not supposed to spend evenings grieving for other teenagers. People are not supposed to die that young. This world is not supposed to be the way it is. Even though I know the creation is broken and groaning because of sin, I still don't understand why it sometimes works out the way it does. Even though I know God is good and compassionate, I still don't understand why this compassion sometimes plays out the way it does.

I know and believe that my Father is loving. I know and believe that his love extends to the young lady and the family and friends she left behind. Having said that, I still have to admit that I don't understand. The only thing I can do is try to trust my Father's heart. I have to trust that Romans 8 is right, that God works in everything for the good of those who love him. I have to believe, not only for me, but in some way for my friends who lost a loved one. 

I  have to trust my Father because I can't trust my own understanding.

Following Jesus: Part 1

When Jesus called people to follow him, they understood that he was calling them to spend time with him, to listen to him, and to learn to relate to God as he did. For Jesus, this meant seeing God as Father and following God's commands. Jesus did something a bit different than the other rabbis though. He went to the spirit of the Law rather than just the letter. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught that the Law went beyond actions all the way to the heart. Jesus then took the entire Law and boiled it down to two commands; love God with every fiber of your being, and love others as you love yourself. And then, Jesus gave us the new command to love our brothers and sisters as he loved us.

I believe that these two things sum up what it means to follow Jesus. We love God with all our hearts, with all our souls, with all our minds, and with all our strength. We spend time with our Father, we learn what is important to him and those things become important to us. We seek his Kingdom above everything else. This involves far more than just reading and even studying the Bible, although that is an important part of it. It involves far more than just hearing sermons and Bible lessons, although that too is important.

We live in a world that asks us to love other things in place of God. There are a number of things that clamor for our affections and allegiance. These things all present a vision of the good life, a vision of a kingdom. Like the Sirens, these things try to draw us into the treacherous rocks where ships run aground and are destroyed. I want to look at that in a future post.

May God help us to love him and follow his Son as our King.

Refreshing Streams

A couple of weeks ago, I took a Saturday and went up to a mountain area not too far from here. After dealing with a bit of anxiety that had caused me to end up in the hospital with what I thought might be a heart attack (thankfully, it wasn't), I realized that some old hurts still needed healing and were causing me to be anxious about certain things because I was afraid of being hurt again. A lot of things had been happening in my life the past couple months and I succumbed to the temptation to worry about some of them.

As I was hiking through this area, the air was hot and humid, and the trail was dry. I drank enough water before I started walking, so I wasn't in danger of dehydration, but I did start to get thirsty. After about a mile or so, I came to an area that had a stream flowing through, with a bench for sitting. As I journaled and prayed, one of the thoughts that came to me was the Psalmist saying that he panted after God like a deer pants after water. Even though the stream next to me wasn't fit to drink, I was still reminded of the many times God has refreshed me when I was dry and thirsty.

My Abba Father has always been there for me, even during those times when it didn't seem like it; those times when I felt as if I were wandering in the desert with no water in sight. I can go on these mini retreats because I do have a source of living water from which to drink my fill. I realize there will be times when I will be panting and thirsty, but God will always be there with living water, even if it takes a while to get there.

I know that there will be times ahead that could cause anxiety and that I will be hurt. It goes with hanging around people. But I am also realizing that I am only called to show God's love to folks. I am not responsible for the results. I am learning again to trust my Father's love and goodness, and let him take care of me and those I care about.

The dry, thirsty trails are still there to wander down. But, there is cool, refreshing water along the way.

Blast From the Past: The Cave

This was first posted on January 25, 2012. It was not a good time in my life. Thankfully the Father has redeemed and brought healing. Sometimes it's good to look back and see where we were and where we are now.


Papa! Papa! Where am I?

How did I get here? It's so dark. I can't see a thing!
I remember walking along the path with my friends. Next thing I know I'm waking up here in the dark. I think I remember the path passing near the entrance of a cave. Is that where I am?

How do you feel?

Everything hurts. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Now I remember. We were walking along when I was hit by something. Who would have done something like this?

An Enemy has done this.

Papa, it hurts so bad! I don't understand! I'm all alone here in the darkness and I feel like everyone has abandoned me!

You are not alone. Your most trusted long time companion is near, waiting for you. I am here.

How did this happen? Everything seemed good. There was some loose rock on the path at times, and there were some places where part of the path had washed away. but I thought we had gotten past them. I thought this part of the journey was going well. I thought we were together.

Papa?

I'm broken. I feel like I can't move. I'm afraid to try because I can't see and I don't know if it's safe. I don't know what to do!

Do you remember the time you spent in the desert learning to trust me rather than what you expected me to do?

Yes, I do. That was hard.

You still have more to learn.

Does it have to be so painful? I'd rather lose a job again than feel so hurt and rejected!

Papa, what do I do?

Stay here for awhile. Don't move. I know it's dark and you're scared, but I'm here with you. You are broken, but my love will heal you. You are safe here. Learn again to trust me. No matter what.

When the time comes, I will lead you out of this place, and you and the person who truly loves you will continue on in your journey with me.

Papa, help me! I have no strength.

I know. I am your strength. I love you, son.

Church Signs: Show God Your Faith...

...and He Will Show You His Faithfulness.

I saw this sign the other day on my bus route and my first thought was, "Boy am I glad God showing his faithfulness to me doesn't depend on my faith." Unfortunately that is the message that seems to come from many sides of the Christian world, from the prosperity preachers who say that if you have enough faith God will give you anything you want, to those who will tell you that if you are living right God will reward you.

It's so easy for us to want to think that we can somehow earn God's faithfulness. We want to pretend that we have some sort of goodness that will induce God to show his favor to us. We think if we pray (ask, seek, knock) hard enough and long enough, God will do what we want. Been there, done that. I can remember being absolutely convinced that if I really, really believed that God would let me have a certain job then I would get it. Well, God had something completely different in mind, but the initial disappointment was enough to knock me back a bit on my faith journey.

Sometimes we think that our good behavior will convince God to be faithful. That one doesn't work either. Of course, maybe it's because I haven't behaved too well, at least according to some. Reading the Bible and praying more than another won't make God sit up and take notice of us so he can reward us. Most of the time, that way of thinking will only turn us into insufferable bores.

God shows his faithfulness to us because he is a loving and faithful Father. At the cross, our sin was taken care of  and Christ's righteousness was given to us. We became children of God who have the same standing as Jesus. As the Father is faithful to the Son, so the Father is faithful to us. This faithfulness doesn't depend on us, but depends soley on our position in Christ.

Maybe part of our problem is we have somehow gotten the notion that it's all about us, about our ideas and wants. Like little children, we want what we want and have a hard time with what we consider "inferior." We have a hard time trusting our Father to be faithful, even when he has shown his faithfulness again and again. I know I have had to relearn that lesson multiple times.

Should we pray and tell God our desires? Absolutely. Should we live in a way that glorifies God? Of course. But, we shouldn't fall into the trap of thinking those things will cause God to smile on us. Instead, we should trust our Father to be faithful and trust that everything he does is good and loving. The more we can put our trust in our Abba, the more freely we can live, knowing that we are being taken care of by the One who created everything.

God will show you his faithfulness. Period.

Identity

Identity is a big issue these days. You have identity politics, entertainers constantly creating new identities for themselves in an effort to stay popular, and publications and advertising telling the rest of us how to live out a certain identity. There is even a movie coming out that is about a woman who wins the lottery and begins a television program that is simply all about her. All of these have a couple of things in common; a focus on the self, and a very good chance of disappointment.

When I was younger, I built an identity as a pretty decent sprinter. I had dreams of making it to the Olympics. I even made it to being a part of a fairly well known track club, and was close to being a national class runner. I had just one problem. I reached the top of my potential and was not really good enough to continue putting the time and effort into the sport at that level. That identity fell by the way. Then my identity became that of a coach and teacher. I lived that out for a good long time until it too went away. I have had to learn the hard way that my true identity is as a beloved child of the Creator of the universe.

For a person who follows Jesus, the only identity that matters, and the identity from which everything else flows, is our identity as children of a loving Father and as co-heirs with Jesus of everything the Father has. We have been adopted as children with all of the rights and responsibilities of a son or daughter of the King. That identity is something that will never change and will never disappear, no matter what.

This identity means that it really doesn't matter what others think of us, because God loves us. He not only loves us, he likes us and thinks we're pretty special. It also means that our future is secure. Not only is it secure, but the renewal of creation is somehow tied in with our final redemption. That blows my tiny little mind! Our identity means that we are part of a family that stretches all over the world and through time. We never lack for brothers and sisters.

Our identity carries with it responsibilities as well as privileges. Because God is our Father, we are to live in such a way that folks see the family resemblance in us. We should be the spittin' image of our Abba. That means that we strive to treat others with the same grace and love with which our Father treats us, especially those who are part of the family. Our brothers and sisters should be as dear to us as they are to the Father. Since our final redemption is somehow connected to the restoration of creation, we have a responsibility to see creation as something good, to be cared for and stewarded as a gift from our loving Father. That also means using whatever creative gifts God has given us to bless others ands bring glory to our Father.

There is no greater identity than that of a beloved child of Abba. God help us to live in that reality.

Becoming

Here is another attempt at poetry.

I see it when I look in the mirror
When I notice the hair disappearing

I see it in the way I walk
And how I stand

In the way I talk, how I laugh
My accent, the words I use

In my slightly odd sense of humor
And the way I like to tease

I see it in my stubbornness
My sometimes quick flashes of temper

In my attempts to fix things
Even though they're not always successful

In so many things
Especially when I bump my head, I see

That I am becoming my father

Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

If there is one word that best sums up the past year here in the sunny South, it would be the word interesting. There have been a lot of changes and adjustments through the year, especially in the second half. I started 2014 by choosing grace as my word for the year, and there have been multiple moments when I have had to lean on God's grace.

The first five months of the year were relatively normal. Then, things got weird. June 5 was my last day at the middle school where I have been working the past eight and a half years. I didn't actually go in to work that day though, because my father-in-law fell and broke his hip that morning. That was the beginning of the adjustments. I was without work and my father-in-law was taking a different road in his journey. As it has turned out, being out of work has allowed me the time to help him out and to take care of his financial affairs as well as helping him with doctor visits and life in an assisted living facility.

We made it through the summer, and in the middle of September we flew out to California for our daughter, Jennie's, wedding. We had a wonderful time with her and with our new in-laws. I also had the honor of being the officiant at the wedding! That was an amazing thing, and I only choked up three times! We came back home, and within a few weeks our son told us that he and his wife were moving from Charlotte to Seattle so he could work with his cousin who has his own architectural design business. The idea of both of our children being on the opposite side of the country has taken some getting used to, but we know that it's a great opportunity and we are happy for them.

We were able to get together with both of our children at the beginning of December, when we celebrated Christmas and a couple of birthdays. On the 19th, Josh and Alicia set out with all their worldly possessions in a Honda Fit. They drove across the country and arrived in Seattle two days before Christmas. Jan and I celebrated Christmas with her father, and then with some close friends. So Christmas was a bit different, but it was good.

Last night we said goodbye to one year and hello to another. While there are things I could wish had happened differently, I am grateful for God's hand in everything. As we enter into this new year, I still don't have a job, and I'm not totally sure how to proceed. The path is shrouded in fog, and we really don't have a clue what will happen in the future. What we do know is that our Father loves us, and that his heart is good toward us. He knows what is to come, and how we are going to best represent his kingdom.

My word for this year is trust. My prayer is, "Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!"

Happy All the Time?

I remember different times in my life when I heard people say that Christians are always supposed to be happy all the time, or at least give the appearance of being happy. The rational behind this was the desire to "keep a good testimony." In other words, it was to make those outside of the faith think that, because we had Jesus, we never got down or discouraged. This was an attempt to show that Christianity "worked" and was worth trying. There are still those who preach that today, as well as those who preach that if anything negative happens to you, it is nothing but an attack from satan and can be thwarted by positive thinking and speaking. Neither of these ways of thinking match up with what Scripture tells us.

All through the Bible, there are instances where God's people mourned and lamented. There was mourning for their sins, and there were lamentations when bad things happened. The Psalms are full of prayers that are cries to God for help in trouble and tragedy. I can't recall any passages in Scripture that command us to be happy all the time. What you do see are warnings that we will suffer, that life is not going to be a walk down a tree lined lane into heaven. Look at the people Jesus hung out with. They were folks who had a hard life, who were the downtrodden and oppressed. Jesus never told them to put on a happy face because following him made your life problem free. He never told them to make positive pronouncements that would make them better. In fact, Jesus told those who wanted to follow him that they had to give up everything and die in order to follow him. Honestly, giving up my desires, my wishes, my life, is hard. It doesn't always make me a smiling, happy person. Sometimes I do it with a frown and a grumble.

The idea that we need to put on a happy face as a good testimony is also wrong. We do a disservice to the cause of Christ when we give the impression that Jesus makes everything peachy. We are afraid to show grief because we are supposed to believe. We are afraid to get angry because our life is supposed to be wonderful. We ask each other how we are doing, and then don't give an honest answer because we don't want folks to think that we're not trusting God. So, we tell everyone that our lives are wonderful, while families fall apart, faith is shattered, and lives go down the tubes. And then we say, "I never knew. They seemed so happy." It is not the presence of a smiling face and assertions that everything is great that testifies to the grace and glory of God. It is when we are able to say through the pain and the tears, "I believe God is good. I don't know why this has happened, and I hurt, but I know my Father cares for me." A smiling face can hide deep despair, while asserting trust in God through tears shows a depth that can only come from the Spirit.

When we are open about our pain and heartache, we open the door to comfort from those who have been through similar things. We come to see that we are not alone. This helps us to see that our Father really is in control and really does love us. This can bring deep, abiding joy. It is this joy that shows that following Jesus is worth it.

Maybe you are going through some tough things right now, and your pain is more than you can bear. God knows. He experienced imaginable grief at the cross. Don't be afraid to let your hurt show. Be honest to the Father about how you are feeling. Find some brothers or sisters that you can be open and vulnerable with. Let God use them to bring you comfort and grace. We are children of a good, loving, perfect Father and we are on this journey together. Take the masks off. Don't be afraid.

Living in a Broken World

A young wife loses her husband, a child loses a parent. An elderly parent leaves this life. A middle aged man loses his job and sees no prospects ahead. Marriages struggle. Church leaders struggle with the demands of ministry while others succumb to the temptation of celebrity. In some corners of the world, believers are imprisoned and killed simply because they follow Jesus.

Anyone who thinks that because we are Christians, our lives are supposed to be sweetness and light, needs to wake up to the reality that we live in a broken world. Sometimes, life sucks. Things don't always go the way we think they should and we are sometimes left wondering. At times, the stuff of life can be overwhelming. We are tempted to give up and despair. Words of comfort fall on deaf ears. I don't have any words of wisdom. I don't have any explanation for most of what happens. I definitely don't want to spout out empty platitudes that may do more harm than good.

There is one thing I believe, and hold on to. I believe that God is good. When things don't make sense, God is good. When the stuff piles up, and the pressure gets unbearable, God is good. When everything seems to fall apart, God is good. As I've gotten older and been through a few things, I am certain of less than I used to be. At the same time, I have become more certain of the goodness of God, more certain that my Father loves me and desires to do me good, even though I may not understand what that good might be. Unlike people I have known who said they were trustworthy and failed to follow through, my Father can be trusted to do what is loving and what is good.

Take heart, friends. God is a loving Father who knows what it is like to suffer. His heart is good to you, and he knows the end from the beginning. Even though it is hard, trust God's heart. Trust his love and his grace. Trust that, though we currently live in a broken world, your Father is redeeming and restoring all things.

Blast From the Past: Delight and Desire

This was first published on May 18, 2010.

Psalm 37: 4 says, "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." I was taught growing up that if you had God as your greatest delight, he would change your desires so they would be in line with what God wanted. and then those desires would be granted. This meant that our desires would become things like having bigger ministries, or other things that meant we were becoming better Christians. Another interpretation is that if we really delight in God, all of our wishes will be granted, even if those include a luxury car, a nicer house, and plenty of money.

Both of these interpretations have one thing in common. They both treat God as a kind of divine vending machine. If you put something in, you get something out. Usually the way you prove your delight in God is by doing more Bible reading and praying, by going to church more often, or by doing any number of practices. Any of these things are fine in and of themselves. The problem comes when we do them thinking that it will obligate God to do certain things for us. It doesn't matter if those things are material or not, if we see them as payment for the things we do, we are wrong.

We were talking about this in our gathering on Sunday, and I got to thinking. What if delighting in God is the desire? God doesn't put the priority on what we do, but rather on being in relationship with him. Jesus said that eternal life is knowing the Father, and knowing the Son. We are given life not just to live a moral life and then go to heaven when we die. We are given life in order to intimately know the Father and the Son. Everything we do comes out of that relationship.

When a married couple love each other, they each take delight in the other. That delight does bring about certain actions, but it is not the actions that bring about the delight, rather it is the other way around. The goal of the delight is not to get things from the other. Instead it is delight that is rewarded with greater intimacy, which brings greater delight, which brings...you get the picture.

I believe that it is that way in our relationship with our Father. When we delight in him, when our beings are wrapped up in getting to know him better and living in his love, God gives us the thing we desire, more intimacy with him. That causes more desire, which brings about more delight, and so on. As I look at Psalm 37, I see God blessing his people in ways that go beyond just material and physical.

The Lord's Prayer: Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread

I could also title this post "The Real Prosperity Gospel."

In the Lord's Prayer, we pray for our Father's name to be glorified, and for his kingdom to come on this earth as it is in heaven. The next thing we pray for is for our daily provisions. This prayer is counter to the way those in the kingdom of this world operate, and unfortunately contrary to the way many Christians live their lives as well.

I believe that the teaching that God wants everyone to be wealthy and healthy and have success in everything they do doesn't go far enough. I know that sounds strange. Hear me out. Those who teach what is known as the prosperity gospel put their followers eyes on the things of this earth, on things that will not last. A new car? It will rust and quit running. A big house? It will crumble. (Especially with the way they're building houses these days) Lots of money in the bank? All gone someday. Success in business, etc.? Eventually your business will close. Fame? Most of us will be forgotten eventually.

Why do we spend so much energy playing in the mud in the ghetto when we have the offer of a trip to the beach? We have a Father who owns everything. His kingdom is forever, and is full of unimaginable riches. We are told in Scripture that we are fellow heirs of all things with Jesus. We have the righteousness of Christ. We have his Spirit in us. We have the expectation of glory, in fact, Romans 8 tells us that we are already glorified. It just doesn't show completely yet. Our Father gives us good gifts.

Praying for our daily needs means we realize our dependence on God. We put ourselves in his hands and humbly ask rather than demand. A child who loves his father doesn't go to him and demand things, unless that child is spoiled. A child who loves and is loved by her father knows that all she has to do is ask and her father can be trusted to provide for her. She also knows that her father will do what is best and not give her anything that is not good for her. In the same way, we trust that our Father will not give us a stone when we ask for bread, but knows exactly what is best for us, and will give us exactly what we need. Many times, God goes far beyond just what we need. We can simply trust Abba to do exactly what is best for us.

One of the things God has taught me through the years is that it is far better for me to simply put my needs and desires in his loving hands. It doesn't depend on how well I've been praying or on how much faith I have. It simply depends on what my Papa, who loves me with a perfect love, knows is the best thing for me. As his love fills me more and more, Jesus' words become more real. To paraphrase, seek first and foremost the kingdom of God and you will get that. The rest is just gravy.

Rest in who you are in Christ and that will bring the contentment that is able to humbly ask the Father for each day's needs, knowing that it's all taken care of. The Psalmist tells us that the Lord is our shepherd, and that we will never lack. While we may not have everything we want, we will have everything we need. Along with that we have Jesus, and with him all the blessings of the new heaven and new earth which will last far longer than anything we can hope to have on this earth.

The Lord's Prayer: Hallowed Be Thy Name

Jesus tells us that we can call the God of the universe, Father. He is our loving, gracious Father. Jesus then directs us to ask for God's name to be hallowed, or lifted up. I think this is an important part of the prayer that we sometimes forget in the course of our day-to-day. Our aim is to live our lives out in light of this prayer, rather than just repeating it from time to time.

If we pray for God's name to be hallowed, we are praying for that name to be made much of, to be lifted up and glorified. As the Westminster Catechism states, the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. The Psalmist tells us that creation itself declares the glory of the Creator. Everything and everyone is made to bring glory to God.

Sometimes we ask for God to be glorified, but we are not sure that we really want that. Sometimes God is glorified in things that we would consider tragedies. It is hard to look at the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, or anything else we would see as negative and see any way God can get glory through it. We can easily see glory for the Father when things go our way, but when it all hits the fan we act as if God's name is irrevocably damaged. I can think of many times when I questioned how in the world God could get any glory from things that happened.

It has been a hard lesson to learn, but it is true that the Father can be glorified through any and every thing. He is God, after all. Romans 8 tells us that God works in everything, even the messes in our lives, for the good of those who love him. This good could be directly for the person who is going through the stuff, or it could be for the body of Christ as a whole. Either way, God is glorified, whether it's through an individual becoming more like Christ or a group of Christians being strengthened by what the individual has gone through.

We are taught to pray that our Father be glorified. We need to understand that that glory may come through trouble in our lives. At the same time, we can be encouraged that the one who loves us with a perfect, inexhaustible love can and does redeem everything.

The Lord's Prayer: Our Father

In our Sunday evening gatherings, we have been looking at what is commonly called the Lord's Prayer. It is the prayer that Jesus taught his disciples to pray. The text is found in Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4. Growing up, it was rare for me to hear this prayer in church. It was seen as something those ritualistic churches did in a rote manner and came close to a "vain repetition." I believe I missed out on something that is a good thing for us to do in our personal and corporate prayers.

Jesus begins the prayer with, "Our Father in heaven."  We are told many times in Scripture that God is our Father. We are born into God's family and we are adopted into the privileges of a son. More than that, we are told that we can call the Creator of the universe, "Abba" or "Papa." We have an intimate relationship with God. Unfortunately, many do not have good memories of their fathers. Some were abusive, or harsh. Others were absent. Some have a hard time with the concept of God as Father. I have heard that the best way is to think of the absolute best father one can imagine and realize that God is infinitely better than that. He is the perfect Father who never abuses, who is always there, and who loves his children with an inexhaustible love.

Luke goes on in his gospel to describe our Father as one who always gives us good things. When my children were growing up, I desired to give them good things and they knew that if they asked for something, I would give it to them if I was able. I didn't give them everything they asked for, because I knew some things were not good for them to have. If they asked for food, I certainly wouldn't have given them dirt or rocks. In the same way, our Father gives us good things. Does he give us everything we ask for? No. If we ask for something that is not going to be good for us, or something that is going to cause harm to others, God usually denies those requests. Just as I knew better than my small children what was good for them (at least part of the time), our Father knows far better than we what is good for us and for his kingdom. Because he loves us, we can and should trust him to give us exactly what we need.

God is our Father in heaven. In the midst of asking and receiving from him, we also remember that he is God, and we are not. He has made us his children and given us his Spirit to guide us, but God is the  final authority on how we live and on what he grants us. God is not a cosmic candy store where we can just put in our order and expect results. We often don't know what is best, but God does. We don't know how things are going to turn out many times, so we can become fearful and feel that the Father really doesn't have a good heart toward us. If we remember that God is a loving, gracious, Father in heaven, and that he knows the end from the beginning, we can trust him no matter what and be grateful for each and everything he gives us, even when it seems as if he is giving us things that are not good.

Trust your Heavenly Father. His heart is good to his children and we can trust him absolutely.

Identity

I spoke to our school's chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes yesterday morning. The seats were filled. Well, one seat was filled. Anyway, as I was preparing what I wanted to say, I was reminded of some of what God has been teaching me over the past few years.

Like most folks, I have always gained my identity and my sense of worth from the things I did, or didn't do in some cases. I was involved in sports at an early age, and by the time I entered high school I had turned into a pretty decent athlete. I had also been taught that, as a Christian, I was defined by what I did or didn't do and where I went or didn't go. As I entered my high school years, I more defined myself by the standards of my friends more than the standards of my church. Through college I was defined as a bit of a rebel, and also one who was training for "full time Christian work" (whatever that is). I began a career as a teacher and coach, and my identity became that. I was called "Coach," and I loved it. I was also teacher, athletic director, bus driver, Sunday School teacher, worship leader, deacon, and elder through the years. Add to that son, husband and father, and you can see that my identity was tied up in  a lot of things.

A few years ago, God decided it was time to change my identity. My job went away, so I was no longer a lot of the things I had been previously. I spent a few months driving a shuttle bus at an army base. This job gave me a lot of time to read, think, and pray. I did get a job in another school as an instructional assistant. Both parents passed away. After a time we left the church we had been in for fourteen years to help start a new church. So now I was a "church planter," so to speak. That lasted a couple of years and we formed a small fellowship with some folks out of that first group. In some ways, I was sort of a pastor, without the title. I was also a member of a community of faith. Those things became what I based my identity on. Within just a few months, that "church" crashed and burned, and with it went the idols I had set up. It was not a fun time.

Fast foward just over a year. We are now part of a community of faith where there is love and service that comes from hearts that have been changed by the Gospel. I am doing some teaching, and am coaching. I am still a husband and a father. But now, I realize that my identity, my self worth is not grounded in those things. The Father has taught me that my identity, the very core of who I am, is grounded in his love for me, and in what Christ has done for me. There are things I do. I teach a couple of Bible studies. I disciple others. I coach sports. I serve my wife as a husband, and I do what a father of grown up adults needs to do. However, that is not who I am.

I am a beloved child of the Ruler of all things. He is pleased with me. I am a co-heir with Christ of all the riches of eternity. As Paul wrote in his letter to the Galatians, I have died with Christ, but I live. It's not me that lives though. It is Jesus Christ living in me. I don't totally understand all the particulars of what that means theologically, but I do know that it means that my identity is in the King of Kings. No matter what happens, no matter what I do, that does not change. I can do all sorts of good things, or not. The fact remains that I am a child of God. Period. End of discussion.  

Let's Dance

The Trinity has been described as a "divine dance." The word in Greek is perichoresis, a word meaning to dance around. This divine dance describes the relationship between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It is a relationship of mutual love and service, a relationship in which each one is centered around the other. This can be symbolized in the triquetra and other designs that show three interlocking rings, triangles, or fish symbols. The Trinity is a relationship that gives to the other, exalts the other, and serves the other.

As we begin to follow Jesus, we are invited to join in this dance. God created us, not to give God joy, but to receive the joy that already existed within the Trinity. We join in this perichoresis, this divine dance, by centering our selves in God. We recognize that it's not all about us, but that it is all about God. Ultimate reality can only be found in God. We are invited to play a part in that reality and join in God's story. It's mind blowing to think that the Creator wants us to be a part of what he is doing to restore the creation and reconcile all things.

This invitation also has implications for us as we enter into the dance. The first is realizing that our lives are to revolve around God. God is to be the sun around which we orbit. As a baby learns that the world doesn't revolve around him, so must we. We are to be all about doing the will of the Father as Jesus was. We are to seek his interests, exalt him, and give ourselves to him. We are to love God with every fiber of our beings. As we enter more and more into this dance, we find that forgetting about ourselves and orbiting around God is a joy rather than a drudgery.

The second implication is that we must also remember that there are others who are in this dance with us. Our brothers and sisters in Christ are dancing as well, and those who haven't come to faith in Christ are to be invited to join us. That means that in our relationships with other people, we are not to expect them to orbit around us. We do not expect them to give to us, build us up, or serve us. The opposite is true. As we dance, we recognize that we are to orbit around them. Their interests, their needs, their good is what we are to be about. This means we are to forget about ourselves. That is a hard thing to do. Our natural tendency is to make sure that we get ours, and then maybe we'll give to others. We do this with our money, most obviously. We also do this with our time and energy, and our talents and gifts.

I believe this lack of dancing correctly is a major reason why churches are ineffectual, and why community is so hard to find. A group of folks who expect everyone else to orbit around them and their interests will quickly fall into conflict and will cease to exist. It is only in the dance God has called us to that we can truly find the love and acceptance we all desire. It is only when we forget ourselves and dance in our orbits around God and around others, that we find joy. The old children's song that spelled "joy" as Jesus, others, and you, was actually pretty much on the money. That is the dance, moving in and out, around and around, in a constant relationship of mutual love and service.

Lets dance!

Reflections on a Year

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. This quote from A Tale of Two Cities doesn't exactly describe this past year, but the highs were high and the lows were low. There have been things that I hope I never have to go through again and things that I hope continue on and on.

The first three months of 2012 brought us the end of a small fellowship of believers we had been leading and the end of what we thought was a close friendship. Those months were especially hard on me. If you want to  get an idea of where I was during that time you can go back and read some of the posts from January to April. It was a dark time that I hope to never experience again.

In April, we began meeting with a group of believers on Sunday nights as part of a church plant. God showed his sense of humor by leading a guy who had no desire to go back to the institutional church to a church that is part of a denomination. As we quickly found out, this group is different. They met on Sunday nights for a meal, and then had a worship service, ending with communion. There were also groups that met during the week for a meal, a Bible study, or just hanging out together. We were welcomed and accepted from the beginning. The biggest draw for me was the mission of the church to benefit our city and to help each other learn to follow Jesus.

The defining moment came pretty quickly. You can read about it here. We had been looking for community, and had tried to create it. Those attempts had been a miserable failure. Now the Father had led us into a community of faith that already existed, and that was truly centered in Jesus Christ and the truth of the Gospel. As the months have gone by, we have grown to love these brothers and sisters and God has given us opportunities to minister to them, and be ministered to.

In May, our son Josh got married. His wife is a beautiful young woman, and is a blessing to us. We have grown to love her as one of the family. Josh was able to land a job at a local architecture firm, and we are rejoicing at God's blessing. As the year continued, there were a couple of dips in the road, but for the most part the journey has been pretty good. God has continued to teach us and bless us, and draw us closer to himself.

When this year began, I had an inkling that God was about to do something in my life. Little did I know what that would mean. I definitely would have done things differently had I been in charge, but then we wouldn't be where we are now. I have been learning that though the Father's mercy may look like something far different, I can trust his goodness and love. I am learning to trust my Abba's love, leaving things in his hands.

It's been an interesting year. There have been some tough times and there have been some good times. The good has definitely outweighed the bad. We are in a good place, and I'm looking forward to how the Father is going to work in me in 2013. To quote another piece of literature:

"The road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

and I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And wither then? I cannot say."

The Prodigal Son: Becoming the Father

In The Return of the Prodigal Son, Henri Nouwen writes that the challenge for him is to become the father. It is a challenge that is full of difficulties. When we look again at the Father in our own stories, we can see how daunting it is.

Our Father is gracious and loving without condition. He gives us many good gifts, but the most important gift he gives is himself. The Father is reckless in giving himself to us. Jesus, who is the image of the Father, gave his very life for us, pouring out his blood for our salvation. We are granted grace and mercy without measure from an eternal, inexhaustible love. There is nothing our Father wouldn't do for our good.

As children of God, we are called to be like him. When I look in a mirror, I see my dad. The eyes, the facial features, the hair (or lack thereof), the voice, all show whose son I am. The same is to be true of those who are children of the heavenly Father. As God is loving and compassionate, so we are to be loving and compassionate. As God is gracious and merciful, so we are to be gracious and merciful. As God gives himself, so we are to give ourselves. You get the idea.

In my late twenties my life changed as I became a father. Even though I was still a son, I was now a person with a child. That brought a change in responsibilities, and a change in perspective. As we mature in Christ, we are to leave both the prodigal and the elder son behind. We are still in need of fathering from God, but our vocation changes. We are now called to be the father. As I look at the father in the story, I see some things that will be true as we become the father. Nouwen states that the three ways to compassionate fatherhood are grief, forgiveness, and generosity.  

We grieve over those who have left home, we grieve over the injustice and abuse in the world, and we grieve over our own weakness. One aspect of grieving is realizing that we cannot save the one who has wandered away. The father in the story didn't go after his son, but he watched and waited for him to return. So it is with us. Many times, all we can do is pray that God will turn the prodigal around. We can not go into the far country and drag them back. All we can do is wait and be ready to welcome them home.

This grieving makes us sensitive to others who are hurting, and the sensitivity leads us to forgive those who wrong us. As the father did, we forgive without question any and all who return. As Jesus said, we forgive, and forgive, and forgive, and forgive, and so on. True forgiveness also reconciles. The father didn't say to the prodigal, "I forgive you, but I think I'll just keep you on as a servant." He accepted him back as his beloved son. No strings attached.

The third way to compassionate fatherhood is generosity. The father spared nothing to celebrate his son's return. He gave the best of everything, including himself. We are called to give ourselves to others in the same way. Yes, we may get hurt. I'm sure the father was hurt when the elder son refused to join the party, and I would guess the younger son wasn't perfect after he was restored. He may well have cause his father more pain. We are to remember the hurt we have caused our Father and the grace he gives us regardless, and do the same for others.

May the Father enable us to be as gracious, loving, and compassionate to others as he is to us.

The Prodigal Son: The Father

The story in Luke 15 is popularly named for the prodigal son, but it could be titled, "The Story of the Prodigal Father." Prodigal means recklessly extravagant, and I think that describes the actions of the father in the story. Jesus told this story in response to the criticism that he ate and drank with sinners. It is a picture of God's extravagant love toward repentant sinners.

The father granted the younger son's request, even though it was a slap in the face. As a father, I can begin to imagine the grief he felt as his son rejected him and everything he stood for. Rather than writing the son off as a lost cause, the story seems to indicate that the father was constantly looking for him to return. In spite of his grief he kept hoping. When the prodigal returned, the father saw him coming in the distance and ran to meet him. Imagine this dignified man running out to greet his son. In those days, one who did what the son had done would be met by the village elders if he returned and officially banished. The father was not only overjoyed to see his son, he was also protecting him.

Before the son could get his speech out, his father told the servants to prepare for a huge blowout party. He covered the son's rag's with a luxurious robe, put good sandals on his feet, and a ring on his finger. All of these were things a beloved son would wear, not a servant. There were no words of disapproval or recrimination, only grace and compassion. When the elder brother acted like a jerk and refused to join the party, the father went to him with grace, reminding him that he was also a beloved son. Again, there were no harsh words from the father.

We have the same kind of Father. When we wander away from him, forgetting who we are, he is waiting patiently for us to return. He knows we will return because his Spirit draws us. We are told in Scripture that God's kindness leads us to repentance. He doesn't force us back and hold us against our will. It's grace and love that brings us to him, and it's grace and love that keeps us home. In the same way, when we think we somehow have to perform to cause the Father to love us more, or think our good deeds mean we are better than our brothers, the Father calls us to remember that he loves us because he loves us. He doesn't love us any less when we screw up, and he doesn't love us any more when we do good things.

Sometimes we forget who our Father is, and who we are as his children. God calls us back to him, not as a servant. He calls us back, not as someone who has earned his love. No, the Father calls us to return home, remembering that we are his beloved children. He is ready to welcome us with open arms and celebrate our return.

The Prodigal Son: The Younger Son
The Prodigal Son: The Elder Son